Leo He (he/them)
Issue 9

Recently there have been news articles depicting how strip clubs and goth fashion are better indicators of a recession than economists. This is because the strip clubs are facing drought to the lack of money rain. Similarly, a recent tweet hit the world by storm. It reads: 

“Seeing a lot of goths about again, which is bad news. Goths are the harbinger of recession, whether it's the 2008 recession, the 1980s recession or 5th century Rome and the collapse of the empire. They may not be the cause, but they are the warning we should heed.”

This has piqued the interest of many people including Lorna Piatti-Farnell, who is a professor at AUT but more importantly, the president of the Gothic Association of New Zealand and Australia (yes, that’s a thing). Lorna is unconvinced that there is a direct correlation.

“I wouldn't go as far as saying that there is a direct correlation between recessions and the Goth subculture. What can be said is that some aspects of the broader Goth subculture - and bear in mind that this is varied and multifaceted.” Rather, she claimed that, “For this, there tend to be spikes in horror narratives (film, television, fiction) during particularly tumultuous times, as horror can function as a way for us to respond and reflect on our fears and what worries us the most.”

However, I would disagree. I believe there is totally a correlation between the rise of goths and economic collapse. The goth subculture has always existed in some form since Victoria England and is popular with those who are discontent with the ways of the world.

Hence, I present to you Gothconomics, a valid economic model of predicting recession totally not made up on the spot because I’m going through a goth phase and just read an article so I decided to parody it because I thought it was funny.

The new model I will propose will also develop a new economic system that will revolutionise how we see economic theory and will build a new way forward for humans and monster-kind. However, unlike the treatises that come before it, it will be clear and succinct unlike The Wealth of Nations and Das Kapital. Nobody will misinterpret it and everybody will have read it before subscribing to it so they actually follow the system and not some twisted version that has no relation to the original argument.

The treatise will thus finally unite humanity (and monster-kind) and totally will not just become another ideology that people will bicker about 100 years later like every other ideology that ever existed. So, what is Gothconomics all about? This will have to be explained at another time.