Charlotte Thornton (she/her)

This article contains spoilers for Eternals (2021). But it’s Eternals, so, yeah.

I’ve had Twitter for a long time. Too long. So long that I wasn’t even technically old enough to have an account when I started mine, don’t tell Elon. In all my years of doom-scrolling I’ve seen about as much cinema discourse as it’s possible to experience – apologies to my Cinema Studies lecturers for the misuse of the term. The argument that pulled me to the edge was the recent chaos around the ‘necessity’ of sex scenes in film. Many users held the opinion that sex scenes have no place in modern movies, especially if they’re extraneous to the plot. On some level I do understand this viewpoint. Movie-watching is often a group experience, and while intimate scenes can be funny with friends, or exciting with partners, no one likes watching them with their family. Unless you’re the Freuds.

Some movies do use the opportunity of a sex scene to objectify a female character. These are usually directed by men without intimacy coordinators, sticking out as gratuitous and misogynistic. Despite my rampant bisexuality, even I have grown exhausted by cameras creepily lingering on a nude woman while ignoring the body of her fully clothed male partner. But I don’t think we should do away with sex scenes entirely. IMDb’s Parents Guide and doesthedogdie.com have made it easy to check the content of films before viewing them, and there are plenty of movies to choose from to keep your night cringe-free. I suggest Stuart Little 2.

The objectification of women is a larger problem; it’s not one that can be fixed by cutting all depictions of fucking. The ratings classifications system plays a major role in what gets to the screen. American films of the eighties benefited from the newly introduced PG-13 rating, which allowed for sexual references in films meant to appeal to families: a supernatural blowjob in Ghostbusters, scantily-clad cartoons in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, and David Bowie’s ball-fondling in Labyrinth. Now, sex scenes pull films all the way up to an R. If you’ve got an R rating anyway, you’re free to get pretty graphic, so some filmmakers really go broke. This has led to sex-heavy movies that imitate pornography and glamorize unhealthy sexual dynamics. 365 Days and the notorious Fifty Shades series come to mind.

For the most part, recent mainstream films avoid sex scenes entirely for commercial reasons. With an age restriction comes a smaller audience, and less money. In 1986, Top Gun had an over-the-top, backlit, Madonna-soundtracked love scene lasting over a minute. Last year’s sequel, Top Gun: Maverick, had a single shot of Jennifer Connelly laying down before cutting to post-coital cuddling. No one’s hair was even mussed. Snooze.

One of my favourite film essays is the legendary ‘Everyone is Beautiful and No One is Horny’ from 2021, written by RS Benedict for Blood Knife. It’s instantly clear which franchise the article takes aim at: the banner image is an oiled-up Chris Evans, freshly released from his Captain America super-serum machine. Those movies are weird.

‘Everyone is Beautiful’ has become one of the Internet’s central texts on the sexuality of modern cinema. Benedict describes how the actors in major franchises are, “more physically perfect than ever,” but that, “even when they have sex, no one is horny… no one is hungry for anyone else.” It’s still appealing to see hot people onscreen, but it’s not profitable to let them have sex.

While the more moralistic issues certainly merit discussion, I think this is actually what audiences are truly tired of. I can understand why filmgoers have started to wilt when they sense an oncoming fireplace-and-R&B-slow-jam combo. While the few intimate scenes we have are supposed to be ‘intimate,’ they are so censored and focus-grouped that they feel clinical.

Later in 2021, Eternals made headlines for this exact problem. Going into it, I expected a more prestige offering than usual, it was directed by Academy Award winner Chloé Zhao and marketed as the first Marvel Cinematic Universe film with a sex scene. I went to see the movie in theatres, and it was anything but sexy. A decent way through a bloated runtime, lead characters Sersi and Ikaris to have missionary sex on a rock. Surely not comfortable. The dialogue is bland, the music is generic, and the colour grading is muggy. Most importantly, we’re missing a key component of a good sex scene: chemistry. Gemma Chan and Richard Madden are beautiful people and excellent actors. They do a fantastic job of the film otherwise. But there’s no sense of sexual tension – not helped by the fact that Sersi’s other love interest has already been introduced, and her romantic dynamic with him is far more believable.

There’s no nudity. The sex itself is shown for no more than fifteen seconds. It basically amounts to a few kisses and a long hug. Womp-womp.

Strangely, Eternals ends up as one of the sexiest Marvel films anyway, no credit to this scene. During filming, Zhao noticed chemistry between Barry Keoghan’s morally-dubious Druig and Lauren Ridloff’s gentle Makkari. She added a couple of new moments to create a new romantic subplot. With a runtime of two hours and thirty-seven minutes, these parts don’t stick out as filler; instead, these two become the freshest and sexiest Marvel pairing in years.

So was the sex scene the problem? If a few mumbled compliments were hotter than sex on a rock – sorry, still not past that, doesn’t that prove sex scenes should be cut?

I don’t think so. What makes Eternals’ sex scene so lifeless is that while it’s intended to serve a narrative purpose, to establish the romantic leads as deeply connected, they forgot to add romance or tenderness. People were having sex, but no one was horny.

We shouldn’t leave sex scenes in the past. These days society seems to be leaning a little puritanical, and I think that’s a major step back. Yes, people fuck, and yes, that’s great. These scenes might not be necessary, but since when are gunfights and explosions ‘necessary’?

There are some great steps forward. Streaming television has allowed for some fun, healthy sex scenes. Sex Education’s are realistic, often hilarious, and all but one (trust me) of Bridgerton’s are appealing and exciting. I hope that mainstream film can take a few cues.

With an intimacy coordinator and some more creative diversity, sex scenes in the coming years (ha) could really change the media landscape. Let people be horny.

Article added: Monday 08 May 2023