Capital Hash House Harriers was founded in 1981 by Mad Max and the inaugural run was on 2 February from the Thorndon Tavern with 9 hashers present.  After a period in recess from November 1981 until its re-erection by the Ayotollah, Mad Max, and 15 others on 5 September 1983 the Hash has survived many a change to still be going strong at the present time.

Their philosophy (amongst other drivers, such as having a pub that delivered cheap beer) was to ensure there was always a run in the Central part of the City (and its immediate environs) on the first working day of the week. The many public bars and parks meant there was ample fodder for trails without frequent crossing of old trail or other confusions such as other hash club's trail markings.

Recent issues with combining with other hash clubs for Tuesday or Wednesday runs and incumbent hashers working irregualrly, has meant this doctrine changed a little in 2012 to encompass Mondays only.

by Handle

Have you ever wondered about how Capital Hash started? Well, here it is, the inside story.

It all started back at the beginning when MAD MAX decided he would go for a run.  To ensure his PUNK hairstyle kept DRY he took a HOOD with him.  Once out on the rod he found he needed a JOCKSTRP to support his LONGCOCK.

Up ahead he spied a VIRGIN, MAID MARION, who was complete with HYMEN and CRUTCHLESS PANTIES.  With knocking KNEES he caught up and they had a PIT STOP.  As at this point he was rather HORNY and not wishing to HANDLE a BAMBIno he enlisted the help of DUREX and PILL before FRIAR TUCK.

Keeping it SMOOTH he HOPped ON and HUMPUS with BANG BANG until he was LIMP and the PUSSY was MOIST.  All was SWEET until setting OFF again he found he had caught VD and AIDS was not far behind.  He was now so UNCLEAN that he was NOUSE to anyone.

by Handle

There once was a GUBbins who went to HASH to have a good nosh but all he found were PASTIEs and LEFT OVERS which were nothing but CRUMBs.  The poor fellow was so POTTIE that he thought MENSTRUAL was a COMMUNITY BICYCLE which was ridden SMOOTHly around town.

Imagine his surprise on visiting the vicarage to find a PEW SNIFFER who had an ORGAN GRINDER and was a real PRICKBUSTER.  He was a PREMATURE EJACULATOR who would TURN ON FARTO quickly so WANKING was his thing.  He would HANDLE his KNOB until it was FRAGGLE and very much a WRNKLE DONG.

The supreme BUCKET FILLER was he as with a rush it would all come.  Not an ANGEL could he be called as VD and AIDS abound.  If all this seems a little OFF the up your nose with a rubber HOSE.  If you’ve read all this crap then you’re obviously madder than I.


(Note: To save you looking in your dictionaries GUBBINS means Trash; Valueless thing, foolish person)