(to the tune of Roedean School)

We are from Capital, Hashers are we
We take great pride in our piss artistry
We skull whole jugs or just seven ounces
For we are from Capital.

The Hash, The Hash, The Hash
The BEST Hash
On on on on on on on on on
On on on on on on on on on

We run from pubs, people's houses or cars
The grub at the ON ON's could be deemed fit for Czars
Not Czars of Russia or Banana Republics
But the hashers at Capital


Our Grand Master, he is a dag
He's always looking for something to shag
He's none to fussy but its usually a Hussy
For he is from Capital


Our Grand Mattress,  she does her sums
She always lets us know when she'll come
It's all in a rush with the Hash in a hush
For she is from Capital


We are the Harriers,  so people say
That doesn,t mean we run all the way
We always sink piss in preference  to running
For we are from Capital


(To the tune of Ghostbusters)
by Handle

When there’s something large, in the double bed
Who you gonna call?
If there’s something big, and it don’t look good
Who you gonna call?
I ain’t afraid of no prick
I ain’t afraid of no prick
If you’re feelin’ things growin’, in your bed
Who can you call?
A pulsating stick, between your legs
OH  Who you gonna call?
If you’re all erect, pick up the phone and call
Let me tell you something (spoken quickly)
Busting makes me feel good
If you have a dose of a growin’ prick, baby
You’d better call
Don’t be caught too short  Oh no
Who you gonna call?

No rules in Hash

The Rules


I stole this from another hashing Facebook group, just a reminder as summer hashing gets cooking.

A message from SoPi....I've seen this before in different ways but I love the way he words it and it's always a good idea to remind ourselves every once in a while of a few truths. So here you go.

PSA for my baby hashers:

1) welcome to hashing.

It's awesomeIt's different at every hashBe responsible for yourselfDon't fuck over your buddiesKeep your drama under your hat

2) there are no 'rules':

Respect other peoplePeople will get away with what you let themDon't let them walk all over youIf you're uncomfortable tell them You don't have to do anything you don't want to

3) we are legion

If you don't like someone just stay away from them.Travel hashing expands your horizonsThere are hashes ALL OVER THE WORLDYou can always find crash spaceAlways tip your bartenderGet to know someone before inviting themREMEMBER at all times you're influencing someone's opinion of you, your hash, and hashing in general

4) point of lager

Never be serious when you're drinkingWe're here to have fun not listen to you bitch, gripe, cry, pity party, sob or complain.Know your limits. No one wants to babysit you or clean up your fluids.Don't Fucking drink and driveYou don't have to drink to hash

5) tits out for the boys

YOU DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING YOU DONT WANT TOPromiscuity is the rule not the exception.Communicate with your partner.If you cheat you get what you deserveWomen are as much pimps as menOnly lil boys think otherwise

6) have you seen my mug?

Don't bring anything hashing you aren't ready to lose and possibly have poop or cupcakes inThere once was a mug that traveled the world and can be seen as a prop in a few pornsThere once was a man whose mom washed and ironed his bibThere once was a mug frozen in a block of vomitAnd peeAnd poopAnd dead fishYou'll probably drink out of a mug that's had more dick in it than that asian pornstar Don't be a bitch ass about it. Smile and get revenge

7) my name is Jack

There is a reason why we have nicknamesSome people have kids, jobs, and security clearances. DONT FUCK YOUR BUDDYSIf you see a hasher in real life, smile, give the secret handshake and giggle about it laterDon't overflow your muggle life into hashing or vice versaJust sayin

8) shake your trail feather

You should hare one in ten hashesThere are no shitty trails, love the suckYou can never over Mark a trailAlways check with the owner of private propertyDon't be afraid to screw it uphigh risk = high rewardSafety third No trail is dog friendly If there are crazy hazards you should warn the packScouting is a good idea Not scouting can be more fun though Hashing is about TRAIL first.EVENTS are about getting crazy and drunkOTFs are optionalIf you're drunk DONT TALK TO THE COPSThere are cups and mugs for a reason

9) do you know who I was?

No one cares how long you've been hashing Elitists are the worstistsYour rank, position, paycheck don't mean shitYou aren't better than any other hasherYou may be the cool kids now but, in a few cycles it will be different. Be like Bowie. No one, especially the opposite sex, owes you shit.

10) Dave's not here man

If it's illegal in muggle land it's illegal in hashing land. Two words: D LDONT FUCK YOUR BUDDYASK FIRSTWhen in doubt, don't. Guns are never a good ideaIf you're a predator you will get what you deserve

11) after all the jokes....

Treat the opposite sex with respectNo means no. Do not be afraid to come forwardDon't be a victim, be smart and boldYOU DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING YOU. DONT WANT TOPromiscuity may be the rule but only if both consentIf you're uncomfortable make it known Racism is not okay.

12) my butt hurts

You will have disagreements. Be an adult.People will pissed you off. Be an adult.You will piss off other people. BE AN ADULTSocially ostracizing someone happensIt's kind of like Lord of the flies except the asshats usually get ostracized. It pays to be nice.No one likes a drama queen Lies come back to haunt you. Just tell the truth. Everyone talks shit about everyone else. It's called real life. Handle your beef outside of the hash LIKE AN ADULT.Don't cry on social media. No one cares. When you drink with a bunch of animals you'll fuck up. Admit, apologize, don't let it happen again.You're not sneaky. Or nearly as smart as you think.Your rights end where OTHER'S BEGINS. If you can't stand not getting your way, you can always start another hash There are shitty people in every group. You DON'T have to put up with them. YOUR EGO DOES NOT HAVE RIGHTS

13) fin

There is no handbook. No census data. No rules per say. We accept all. Whatever your gender, color, religion, sexual preference, planet, creed, politics, whatever. If you're not an asshat and are remotely responsible, be welcome.